Introspection, meditation, soul searching, reflection, contemplation,

whatever you call it, whichever way you look at it, if it doesn’t happen to be something that you do with some form of regularity and for a more prolonged period at least once a year, you are missing out.

I just came back from 3 months of prolonged reflection. It’s different every time. Last year, I grew and had some realizations, but this year, this year it feels even more profound.

Last year, there plant medicine and energy meditation, and retreat centres, disappointment, connection and realizations. I realized what I thought or where I was ‘suppose’ to be, is not where I ended up at all. Much the same this year, but the profundity of my time alone the last three months, has given me sight, where before I had non.

As I make my way homeward, back to family, friends, familiar faces and comfortable places, my reflection continues.

Here are the top 5 things I learned this year.

  1. There is vast Wisdom in silence, contrast, and solitude
  • Moving from the bosom of familiarity to into unknown territory, going from the contrast of knowingness and deep connection to not knowing a soul forces one to face themselves, if one dares. It forces you to stare into the uncomfortable quietude, that quite frankly, I believe scares the shit out of us. I know it did me. Through the deep, seemingly unending discomfort, came solace and okay-ness with being alone.
  • Instead of finding new bandaids to cover up the silence, although temping at times, turning inward grew my connection with Source to a degree I had not known. It’s as if the ‘noise of reality’ turned off, the matrix slowed to a halt and just like the movie there were signs for me everywhere. “Ask and you shall receive”, it is said. I understand this now.

2. Feeling equals Power. 

  • With great feeling, comes great Power. True Power. Real Power. I remember an interview with Jim Carrey in which he said that he chooses to live with his feelings very close to the surface. The interviewer said he sensed Jim was ‘full of conflicting emotions’. I understand what that means. When I am most connected to my feelings, it is when I feel the most alive. I strive to be there all of the time now.

   

 3. We Get to Keep Only What We Give Away

  • Because I have a ‘tough, exterior’, I believe the perception can be that is my demeanour as well. Nothing can be further from the truth. I’m a big shy softy. So I typically keep to myself. But in doing so, in not saying, with respect and reverence, what I feel, or give compliments or ‘talk to strangers’, or tell those close to me how I feel, I essentially am stopping energy from flowing. And that is the very thing that ‘shows up’ in the mirror of my reality. Yet when I am free flowing and at ease, wouldn’t you know it the cycle of energy continues to flow. Give it away and it will come back ten fold. The connection expands exponentially.

4. Comfort is the Enemy of Progress.

  • To seek out uncomfortable situations and environments is a sure fire way to grow. It has been during the most difficult times that I have learned and grown the most. Comfort is easy, but it certainly is not always optimal.

  5. Challenge or Challenges Maketh Man/Woman

  • If I’m honest, besides the internal challenges and growth that I seek, the times I feel the most alive??  When I’m givin ‘er! I mean all out, heart and Soul, everything I’ve got, mentally, emotionally, physically. In business, my relationships, with my physicality, in every area, on every level. I will set newer, higher and bigger goals for myself in every area from now on. Some things that came to mind Kokoro Camp (Seal fit challenge) Crossfit Open, Climb Everest, Skydive (more, such a rush), Take dance, guitar and singing lessons, essentially live life.
  • I’m also most alive when I’m creating. Creating content, working on a ‘big idea’. The bigger the idea, the more alive I feel.

There was a great quote in Braveheart where William Wallace said, “Every man dies, not every man truly lives”

While I have heard these type of quotes and sayings at various times, as I continue this journey into truly ‘knowing myself’, they, as does everything else takes on new and vastly more meaning.

In some areas I have truly lived and yet in others, I have still been afraid. Afraid to truly feel, to truly let someone in, to share my feelings, even with those closest to me. I have been afraid to really, truly be myself, for fear that ‘they’ wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t love me for me. No filters. No sensors. No acting.

Really, what I’ve learned and come to long for is true, deep, meaningful human connection. Possibly for the first time.

I guess what I’m saying, is that I don’t believe the lessons will ever end. Nor would I want them to. This time, though, the lesson has been loud and clear…

Live. Every. Moment. 

Gratitude doesn’t begin to express….